#229 - AB

This one is embarrassing because I am going to tell on myself, but truth be told, I am embarrassed that I was totally rude to this girl, not once...not twice...but 3x.

Let be give some back story to plead my case a little.  I went to high school with this girl.  She was very nice, but very shy.  She was not very popular, did not talk much, and had a weight problem.  I was never ugly to her and I don't really remember her being teased that much, but she was just one of those people that you didn't think about much.  (As I re-read that, it sounds kinda harsh, but I cannot delete it because it's the truth.)  So anyway, after being her classmate for 5 years, we graduated and I can honestly say that I never thought about her again.

Until...one day about four years later when I was in PT school.  My PT school class had about 40 people in it, so we were a pretty close knit group.  Towards the end of our second year, the instructors were interviewing applicant's for the following years' class.  One of my classmates came to get me to "meet" an applicant from Houma.  (You know where I am going with this...)  Anyway, I be-bopped my way into the lounge...looked around...and said, "Hey!  Who in here is from Houma?  I'm from Houma!"  This girl replies, "I am."  So I make my way (ponytail bouncing - remember, early 90's) over to her and say, "Houma is not that big...where did you go to school?"  To her credit she did not call me a snobby bee otch, she just said, "VC."  I still didn't get it.  "Oh, I went there too!  What year did you graduate?"  I continued on, oblivious.  She just looked at me and said, "1988, same year as you Monique." 
15 second pause............................................................................................
Trying to recover with my foot halfway down my throat, I forged on, "Really?  I'm sorry, what is your name again?"  She tells me and then this is where I really blew it.  I stupidly respond, "Oh...you cut your hair!"  I guess I realized how lame this sounded, because I followed up that wonderful observation with a better one, "And you lost a lot of weight!"  Sigh...sometimes I am such an idiot.  To her credit she just smiled and said, "Yes, I did."  In my very small defense, she really did...like >100 lbs. and she looked great!

So anyway, my embarrassed self did not see her again for a few more years.  I graduated and started work here.  About 4-5 years later, my office was asked to fill-in for a shortage of therapists at our local hospital.  This called for us to work in the rehab unit every Friday morning.  The first day that I was sent to fill-in, I was introduced to the aides and therapists that were on staff there.  (You know where this is going right?)  I said my hellos and got to work.  About an hour later I was standing around, waiting for the next patients to be wheeled in, so I started to make small talk with the therapist standing next to me. (Always a bad idea).  I started off again by saying, "So, where are you from?"  This time I guess she was already aware that I did not recognize her because right off the bat she hit me with, "Monique, it's me, AB, I graduated with you."  This time there was no where to hide.  I decided to come clean.  I am so sorry, AB.  But I didn't stop there, I kept on with, "You just look so much different."  Again tactfully reminding her that I remembered her as the fat girl.  Sigh...  Why don't I just shut up?

You would think that that would be the end...but nope...when I'm on a roll, I guess I just can't stop.  (but for the record she really does look a lot different)  I ran into her again at our 10 year class reunion.  I was semi prepared having already been a total idiot the last two times I met her.  I was kinda on the lookout for her, but as the girl I remembered...not so heavy, but kinda shy and quiet.  Instead, I had to ask my friend Chuck, who that girl was on the dance floor, rockin out?  He did not know, so we asked someone else who informed us that it was AB.  Strike three!  I'm sure she thinks I am totally lacking in home training, and I can't say I blame her. 

In my next life, I want to be the person who never forgets a face or a name.  If that is not possible, please let me be the person who doesn't feel the need to talk to people I don't recognize.  But I guess I am stuck with who I am for this life.  I vow to try to not put my foot in my mouth, but for those of you who are too polite here are some tips for you:


How to Put Your Foot in Your Mouth


Are you too tactful? Do you find yourself always saying the right thing? Perhaps you need new enemies? Would you like to be loose with your words?

Have no fear, it is easy to put your foot in your mouth. Just follow the steps below.

Difficulty: Easy
InstructionsThings You'll Need:

A willingness to make a fool of yourself

Step 1 - Always look at a person's physical traits. Is there something unusual about their appearance? If so, go ahead and point it out to them at the first opportunity. (Check - I did that!)

Step 2 - Learn some jokes about different races, religions and handicaps. Tell them at the next opportunity. If you are lucky, you will offend someone without realizing it. For example, perhaps you won't notice who is standing behind you.

Step 3 - Gossip about someone loudly behind their back. Maybe they are behind your back and will overhear you! Surely this will make you feel foolish and you can "put your foot in your mouth".

Step 4 - Always say the first thing that pops into your mind, don't filter anything! Do it as often as possible. Soon you will find yourself offending people with little to no effort at all!

Hope I have helped :)  I need people to share my pain.