When he moved here, he knew no one. To help him make friends and get comfortable, he was invited to our home several times for dinner and just to hang out. He always came with a gift for me as was the custom in his country. This was usually some type of jewlery like bangle bracelets, or maybe a bedazzled pocket mirror. Very thoughtful and he did this as a sign of thanks for the invitation. I'm not exactly sure how old he was, but I would guess mid-20's. He became more comfortable talking with us after a few visits, and really liked playing basketball or football with the kids. He also began to tell me more about his country and the customs that they follow. He was always asking questions about how things are done here, and comparing them to the way of life in his country. Very interesting and so different from what we are use to and take for granted.
After he was here a short time, he was called to return to India because his younger brother had been diagnosed with a brain tumor. I do not remember all of the exact details, but I remember him telling me that when he arrived home, the medical care in the town where his brother lived was basically non-existent, and the doctors had pretty much told his parents and his brother that there was nothing they could do for him and that his brother would die. #109 knew better, and arranged/brought his brother to a larger town where they were able to successfully remove the brain tumor. The last I heard, his brother was doing fine. Scary right? If #109 would not have lived in the U.S. and been educated outside of his hometown, his brother would probably be dead. Things that we take for granted here and do not really realize is not a basic right in many parts of the world.
Another interesting thing happened when he returned home to help his brother. #109's father told him that it was time that he got married. In his country, marriages are arranged, and so #109 met his bride to be (selected by his father and the girl's father) for about an hour. Then he returned to the U.S. He came back, telling us that he was getting married to this girl he had only met for an hour. As sheltered as I am, I was incredulous. I of course have heard of arranged marriages, but really??? In today's world? Anyway, #109 and his bride to be started corresponding by email. She and her mother and his mother were planning the wedding. #109 had no input, just was told when he needed to book his flight back to India for the ceremony. One of the things that the bride to be needed to do before getting to the U.S., was to learn all of the foods that #109 liked to eat, and learn how to prepare them for him. He told me this, not with a s#!t - eating grin on his face (like I know all of you male readers have right now), but as a matter of fact. In his country, wives work hard to please their husbands in every way. They are not independent women, they are subservent to their husbands. They are not mad or indignant about this. They are proud to honor their husbands by accomodating them and basically catering to them.
Interesting comment from him...When he first returned back and told us about his bride to be, he told us that he had only met her for an hour. After about six months of corresponding with her via email only, he told us that he was ready to get married because he loved her. Now, I love my husband, but I know that I would not love ANY husband. There are certain qualities in certain men that I know that I definitely would not love. There are some people that I know that I could not, would not love. How did he really know that he loved her? He did not even know her... But he assured me that he did love her and she loved him, and they were excited about getting married.
Anyway, he returned to India, got married (really, really, really wanted Jeff and I to attend his wedding. He told us that his people would consider it the highest honor if his boss attended his wedding...) and then returned to the U.S. with his bride. In the middle of all of this, due to a change in business circumstances, he changed jobs, and relocated back to Texas. But...he made it a point to call me, come to my office one day, and introduce me to his bride. He wanted her to meet all of the friends that he had made here. She was a lovely girl. Very quiet and only spoke a little English. They then moved to Texas and I have not heard from them since.
Just a blip on my road of life, but one that makes me appreciate all of the things that we have here. The medical care, the customs, the way of life, the relationships between men and women and the freedom that women have here. Something to think about. We have the freedom of choice. I hope that I have not offended anyone with this post, as it definitely was not my intention. #109 and his bride were raised in a different culture and have different ideas/beliefs than what is common here. I am not saying one is right and one is wrong, I am just saying they are different. That people who are so different can work together for the good of a company is part of what makes this world so great. We should appreciate each other for our uniqueness and our individuality and not be closed minded. Thank you to #109 for allowing me and my children to get a different view point, and to for allowing me to teach my kids that people may look and act differently than us, but we are all equal and should all be treated with respect.
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