#359 - Auditor

One morning, I was sitting in my office, catching up on some paperwork when my receptionist walked into my office looking like she had seen a ghost.  She proceeded to tell me that there was a lady and and man from Medicare in the lobby, and they were there to conduct a surprise audit.

Let me stop for a second and give you some background info.  We had just recently purchased the practice from the original owner who...ummmmm... how do I say this nicely..... was not the best rule follower in the world.  It's not that he was obstinate about not following the rules, it's just that he kinda had the attitude of..."If I'm doing it wrong, someone will tell me eventually and until then, oh well."  Surprisingly, Medicare does not share that same attitude.  So anyway, when the previous owner was enrolled in the Medicare program (1000 years earlier), he just kinda adapted the rules and regs as he saw fit
(read - he didn't do any of the proper paperwork).  Now, I know that ignorance is not an excuse, but when we took over, we just kinda assumed that if he had been practicing for since 1954 without it...we didn't need it.  Turns out that was the wrong assumption.

So anyway, I have these two auditors in my lobby.  My partner was absent from the office that week as it was his week to cover the hospital contract.  So it was me and them...  I took a deep breath and welcomed them in...having no idea that I was doing it all wrong.  They handed me a list of things that they needed to see.  Everything from annual employee performance evaluations from the last 10 years to the documentation reflecting our hand washing policy.  Don't ever let anyone tell you that I don't have a poker face, because I sat there and nodded (while thinking "Oh, shit!) and then I calmly told them that it was going to take me a little while to gather all of the info that they needed because I was the only therapist there that day and I had a full schedule of patients to see in addition to being at their beck and call.  Small office and all...  They said no problem, they would just wait patiently in my office and I could just bring them the items that they needed one at a time.  They assured me that they were not in a hurry and had the rest of the week for my office audit. 

WOW!  Let it also be said, that as a rule, I do not panic.  I exited my office and started to formulate my game plan.  Long story short...I was able to find, in the attic of my building, a box with several inches of dust on it, that read  "Medicare start up documents."  Low and behold, in that box was binder after binder of documents that was an outline of what we needed, but had never been implemented.  I had no employee performance evaluations because none had ever been done.  I had no hand washing procedure because I figured everyone old enough to hold a job and pay taxes knew how to wash their hands.  Anyway, I was able to piece together about 50% of what they wanted, even though it was totally insufficient.

I presented what I could and then waited...and waited...and waited...  They looked at what I had and made lots of notes.  At the end of the day they requested a meeting with me.  Basically in a nutshell they told me that I was doing it wrong.  They said that they did not have to shut me down because I actually had a box with policies, but it was clear that we were not following them.  They had even interviewed my employees and asked them about certain policies.  They gave me a punch list of about a million things that needed to be brought up to regulation.  They gave me one month and told me that they would be back.  I remember looking them straight in the eye and saying to them, "I know that you guys don't know me.  I know that ignorance is not an excuse, but I will tell you that I had no idea that all of these things were required.  I will tell you that in thirty days...they will be in place."  I could tell by their looks that they totally did not believe me.  They had no idea who they were dealing with and they had no idea how much I hate to be unprepared.

Fast forward thirty days.  After much work and revisions (special shout out to Sarah Sue Sue at this point who handled all the typing of our new Policy and Procedure Manual) I was ready.  They came back.  They asked for a page full of stuff.  They got it!  Every single item done to perfection.  Evenly spaced and even the hand washing procedure framed and hung next to every lavatory (in case anyone forgot).  They looked, they nodded, they asked for time to review everything.  At the end of day ( a day where I sweated buckets all day) we convened for a meeting.  They said straight out, "When we left here last month, we thought that there was no way you could bring everything into compliance in one month.  We honestly thought that we were coming to shut you guys down today.  But, you are now in 100% compliance with every rule and regulation."  I, of course, knew that!  :)

I thanked them and they left.  I fully expected them to return in six months to check to be sure I was continuing to wash my hands correctly.  But they didn't.  Six months turned into ten years.  Then one day last summer...they came back.  This time I was ready.  I produced all the info they wanted in about 30 minutes.  The auditor was here for about 2 hours and he complimented me on how well we all knew our hand washing procedure.  After all we had 10 years to practice...

Post post-lesson:  Never assume you know all the rules...find them out for yourself.  Never get lax with time...they always come back.  Never try to skate by with the bare minimum...do your best and you have nothing to worry about!

#358 - JMG

Friendship isn't a big thing - it's a million little things.

~Author Unknown

When I think back to my oldest and best-est friend in my forty years of life, outside of family, I think of #358. 

It's funny that we are so close and have been friends for so long because in our lifetimes there have been long stretches of time that we go without seeing one another.

The first thing that I really remember doing with #358 is Brownies.  Her mom was our Brownie troop leader and we would meet at her house.  I remember going on nature hikes in her backyard and collecting acorns and sticks to make arts and crafts projects.  Her childhood home had a wonderful backyard.  A few short steps from her backdoor and you would feel like you were in the middle of a Forrest (at least I did when I was 7).  I use to love walking around and finding treasures.

#358 and I did not attend the same elementary school (except for 7th grade) but we spent many many many weekends together.  Some of my best childhood memories are going with her and her family to LSU games on the Greyhound bus, getting back late at night, and then getting up early on Sunday mornings to go to the Saints games.  It was actually on one of these buses that I got to make friends with my later in life to be husband (who was best friends with her brother...and still is).

On other weekends that were not during football season, I remember sitting with #358 in their parlor (my only friend ever that has ever had one) and listening to her playing classical music on their grand piano.  She was awesome because of her long fingers and years of lessons.  I would tried to get her to teach me how to play but the furthest we ever got was the first 9 notes of Für Elise.  She by the way could play the entire thing.  I wonder if she still can?????

Then of course, all the fun summer vacations with our families.  I remember her dad letting us (and JEB) take the sailboat out from the dock in the Grand Isle bay.  No cell phones, no walkie talkies, no help.  Since none of us knew exactly how to sail, we pretty much just drifted...one direction...until the parents realized we really weren't coming back and came to get us in the boat.  But...while we were sailing, we sang every song we knew (with a lot of camp songs with hand motions) at the top of our lungs.  We even got into a school of porpoises up close and personal.  Such a great memory.  And then...I know I won't forget all the girls sleeping in a travel trailer.  We spent 90% of the time planning our attack on the boys where we would steal their underwear and either freeze them or fly them up the flagpole.  We decided on both!

Then once we got to VC we were together every day for the next five years. 
She and I took French together.

"Parlez-vous francais?"
"Comment tu t'applles?" 
"Je m'appelle Katrine."

Sometimes I still call her Genvieve and she calls me Katrine. LOL, funny what sticks...
 
We both love to go to the movies and when we were in high school, we saw plenty.  I was always jealous that her mom let her get the cool asymmetrical haircut with some razor on the side that was so cool back in the day.  Why I don't have a picture of that, I don't know.  She also had some cool shades just like the guy from the movie Mannequin...remember?  (Everyone who went to school in the 80's has to click on the link and watch the video clip...hilarious!)  Side note - Did you know that Kim Cattrall was the dummy????  Some of our other favorites were The Sure Thing ("Consider outer space...") and Beverly Hills Cop ("I ain't falling for no banana in the tailpipe!")
 
Then when we graduated, I went to Lafayette and she went to crunchy granola Loyola.  My friend who use to love to eat hot dogs with me decided that she was a vegetarian after she saw The Little Mermaid and decided that animals had feelings too.  She traded in her leather belts and eel skin purses (from the French Market) for cloth woven hand-made bags and purses.  All kidding aside, she went on to graduate from here and then Tulane with a double masters in public health.  Since graduation, she has selflessly done a job that is not rewarded monetarily, but with God points.  She has worked with children who have very few advantages in this world.  Children in poverty and their mothers who sometimes try and sometimes don't.  In her career, she has had to go places and see people that are really scary and live in places that are even scarier.  She does it all without fear.  I have no idea how, but she does.  She was even held up at gunpoint one night getting out of her car.  Her first comment (aside from the fact that she was grateful they did not shoot her) was that they took her pizza.  I remember her saying, "I bet they were mad when they realized it was a veggie only pizza!"
 
Probably equal to my brother, #358 makes me laugh more than anyone else.  I cannot even begin to recall the many things she says or comments she makes that totally set me off into fits of laughter.  She recently came on my fun, fun spa trip and had our entire table laughing about her insistence that texting should only be done in full sentences without abbreviations.  She does not need a salutation, but no LOL or OMG please!
 
Now my friend lives in Houston.  She has always loved the big city as much as I love the small city.  That works, because now I have another great place to visit where we can find all kinds of fun things to do.  On a very serious note, I want her to know how much I love her and how much I value our friendship.  She is the friend I can call anytime, any day and any place and she will always be there.  I hope she knows the same is true in reverse for her.  She always puts a smile on my face no matter what.  Even when she is faced with difficult times, she has always tried to keep a positive outlook and she usually succeeds.  A true friend and a beautiful person inside and out.
 
A good friend is a connection to life - a tie to the past, a road to the future, the key to sanity in a totally insane world.
~Lois Wyse

She made me promise no pictures prior to high school so...

JMG and me in my first car.  She turned fifteen about 3 months after me and we took turns either heading out in my really cool, really huge Impala or her little bitty really cool gray four door Geo Prism.

(I'm not sure our dads liked us much)

Striking a pose at my 17th after school birthday dinner!

JMG and Lou at a school dance.

JMG and Jeff back in the day!

Senior Prom.  We were having a contest for biggest sleeves!

JMG won!

JMG at a pre-wedding BBQ

Bridal shower.  For the record, I don't think I ever held either of those garments again.

Thanks JMG for being a bridesmaid.

One of many fun beach trips.

Our fun, fun spa trip where we did not put on make-up, stayed in our robes, did yoga, had her tarot cards read, went to a cooking class, road water bicycles, and laughed our @$!'$ off!

Love ya, Genvieve!

#357 - AB

I was a good student.  I will even go as far as to say that I was a great student.  I will even be as nerdy as to say that I liked school.  I liked studying.  I very seldom, if ever, went into a test unprepared.  I kept studying and studying and studying until I was sure I was going to make an A on the test.  I had no idea that anyone else did it any other way.  Until I met Jeff :)  Then I realized that not everyone studied as hard as I did.  Not everyone cared about making straight A's.  Hold onto your hats everyone because what I am going to say next may shock you...

There are some people in this world who do not care about school!

That is not to say that these people are not smart.  In fact, sometimes I think it is just the opposite.  Being book smart does not make you world smart and vice versa.  Being able to memorize something for a test is not the same as learning it.  Let me get to my point...

Even though I knew that there were people out there that did not study as hard as I did, the whole concept of not caring about school and wanting to go into a test without studying did not really sink in until my children started school.  I don't know if it is a boy thing or if it is just a "my boy" thing, but from the get go, my boys do not like to put in the time studying.  I will relent a little and say that my oldest has grown into the whole studying thing.  He is totally on his own and makes very good grades.  He knows when to study hard, and when he can just coast.  My second one is still learning this lesson and truth be told, I am counting the days until he graduates from college.

He and I go round and round and round each and every day...and we have since Kindergarten.  He hates school and even though he is very smart, he like to pretend like he is not until it is an emergency.  And by emergency, I mean when he hears the words, "You may not go to baseball practice if this homework is not finished in the next five minutes!!!!!!!!"  (Usually spoken in a rather elevated tone of voice.)

Blog post #366 makes my list because she too has a son with a similar disposition towards education.  She and I have spent endless hours talking, listening, emailing, and reading about why this is and what we can do to make it easier.  We have shared homework strategies, bribes, punishments, and even traded tips on sneaky ways to get to the goal...learning.  Both of us gave up the goal of straight A's long ago.  We both now settle for a few basics to make us happy. 

1.  Bringing the proper books home the night before a test.
2.  Having the answers on the study guide actually answered before the night before a test (correctly).
3.  Putting actual words down for all questions on the test (Yes, Z, even the bonus).  After all if you leave it blank, it is definitely wrong!  Right?

And last but not least...we live for weekends, holidays, and summer vacation.

Thanks to #366 for not making me feel like I am the only one in the world with this problem.  The other kids in my neighborhood, who never seem to have homework, sometimes make me wonder.  But whenever I think I am alone, I can call #366 and chances are, we are on the same page (of the book that we had to go and borrow from a classmate).

Mothers of boys everywhere...Unite!

I love this quote that I found.  It is from a Sport Illustrated column and it makes me smile.  It reads,

“Moms are as relentless as the tides. They don’t just drive us to practice, they drive us to greatness.”
 
Surely, eventually they will realize that we are not going away and that we will never not care about school and their part in it.  Won't they? 
 
#366, here's to the day that our boys look us in the eye and say,
"Thanks for making me study and work so hard in school."
 
(They will say this eventually...right????)

#356 - AH

I met #356, I guess about a year ago when she and a co-worker approached me about renting space in my office.  We worked out a deal and just like that, our little bitty office staff grew by two.  One thing that all my employees have heard me say is, "We are too small of an office to gossip, fuss, or fight like a bunch of girls.  No whining!"  I really mean this.  I mean...I know, I am a girl.  That fact has not escaped me.  I also realize that except for one, all of my co-workers are female.  But I know that all of you...male and female... know that women can get hung up on the stupidest things and these things can snowball out of control.  Anyone who has ever worked in an office should also know, that it only takes one person to rock the boat and next thing you know you have backstabbing and alliances.  All this does is hurt feelings and waste time and energy.  Just come to work...do your job...do it well...and then go home and enjoy your family.  My own philosophy.

Whew!  Total digression from the thought that I started with.  #356.  She got all of the above and I never even had to tell her.  She fit into our daily groove and work flow like she had been there since the beginning.  She is a professional...she takes care of her stuff...she does her job...she does it well...she goes home to her family.  She is a hard worker and takes care of her two kids who I know make her proud, even though she is hesitant to toot their horns too loudly.  I have listened to the stories about her kids, and from what I hear, she has a lot to be proud of.

Without getting too much into her business and blasting it all over the Internet, I know that sometimes #356 has had things thrown at her that would take down a weaker woman.  But, just like Reggie Bush (yes, I am watching the Saints game while I post), she puts her head down and keeps going.  Women of the world take note!  We are strong!  Hear us roar! 

Have you ever wondered why, it is so easy to shoot someone down, and we don't take equal time to give a compliment?  And why as women our first inclination is to deny the compliment?  So #356, take the compliment...you deserve it!  Just take the compliment sitting down while resting the hip!  :)

#355 - DR / Ms. G

OK, In for a penny.....

This post is about two more ladies that were brought into my life by my father in law  (not at the same time :)...years after the last post was totally out of the picture.  They held the title of "girlfriend" and one we liked and one ummmmmm we didn't.

OK here it goes...

One never smiled.

One exited the car with smiles and hugs all around for Jeff and I as well as my kids.

One wore high heels and stockings with her shorts on our fishing expedition.  (Oh, and hairspray which was really funny when it started raining :)

One not only could bait her own hook, but could clean and cook the fish as well as clean the kitchen and put the load of nasty fish clothes to wash.

When I would try to engage one in a conversation, it was like pulling teeth.  You know the type that answers questions only and really cannot offer anything to further along the conversation.

The other one would sit and chat for hours about anything and everything and was the type that was more interested than having to work to be interesting.

I think I will stop here and say that my father in law is a grown man and does not ask or need my opinion as to who he spend his time with.  But really????  Really?????   REALLY???????  :)

#354 - G?

Now, this is kinda a touchy post to write.  Not because of the person I'm posting about...but because of the person who brought #354 into my life...but I will plow on.

OK...there is no way to go but forward...  When I got married, I inherited two mother in laws.  One that I loved...and one that ummmmmmmm.

Let me move on.

I think I'll blog from this angle.  Some people's lives are train wrecks.  I think that they just make one kinda small bad decision and then it snowballs.  #354, in my opinion, has made a lot of choices that have snowballed.  I cannot say that she ever did or said anything ugly to me.  The few times that I have been in her company, she has been very nice and always seems to try her best.  But then I would hear the stories and... snowballs.

Years have passed and #354 is no longer in my picture.  I hope that she is happy and that she has found some peace.  I fully believe that you are a product of your upbringing and I don't think the road that #354 has travelled has always been smooth sailing.  I hope in her life, she will have the opportunity to enjoy her beautiful grand-daughter who can light up a room with her sunny smile and sing-song voice.  I hope that she is able to stay close to both of her children and maintain good healthy relationships with all of the people who love her. 

With this post being so hard to write, you may be wondering why I included #354 in my list.  Let's just say that as I watched / listened to the drama unfold, I learned some valuable lessons about choices.

#353 - Todd

Todd makes my blog not for exactly who he is, but the type of person that he represents.  When I started working, he was a tech at my office.  I was about 21 and he was about 18.  He was a nice kid, who was working for minimum wage because he wanted to go to college and then PT school.  He did not want to work offshore, even though he could make more money, because he really wanted to go to college.  So that was his plan.  The problem was that he could not stay away from the drama.  Let me explain...

First he got a girlfriend, then he started dating his girlfriends sister, then he got in a fight and ended up spending the night in our local jail...After he got out of jail, he assured my boss that he recognized the error of his ways and he was going to stay on the straight and narrow.  That lasted for about a month.  Then he got back with his initial girlfriend who turned up pregnant.  After the allotted time passed and they were able to determine that the child was actually his, he decided that he probably needed to take that offshore job so that he could make some money for his baby.  He quit working for us and took a job working 7 and 7.

Fast forward...
The baby was born...
The girlfriend threw Todd out...
They got back together and moved in with his parents...
They broke up...
She got pregnant again...
They had a second child...
They broke up again...
The girlfriend got pregnant for another dude...

And on and on and on and on...see what I mean...drama!

He came to visit us a few times a year.  He would bring his kids to see us.  Then a few years later, he would come to visit us without his kids because he lost custody because he was busted for drugs....  Then we lost touch... 

I have no idea what happened to Todd, but I pray that my three boys never get caught up in any part of the above drama wheel!